musts, shoulds and wholeheartedness


page view from The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna

Should is how other people want us to live our lives. -Elle Luna

must is

page view from The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna

Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. -Elle Luna

must - now what

page view from The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna

… choosing Must raises very real and scary questions. -Elle Luna

mustDuring my career as a freelancer, I have learned {over and over} that Must will evolve — so it is best to hold on loosely. Even so … I still freak-out a bit {um, a lot!} when I know it is changing.

what if it changes

page view from The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna

But once you know your Must, it won’t be ignored. Must will wave wildly for your attention and it will interrupt your ability to focus on anything else.


page view from The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna

Must will energize you and feel limitless; but it is likely very few people will “get it” when are you starting out and it may not work out in the way you first believe … 

what if it doesn't pay

page view from The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna

It may not always pay your electricity bill … But if you will honor your Must wholeheartedly — you will always find a way to have you need.

do you know for sure

What Makes Up Resilience? If you look at the current research, here are five of the most common factors of resilient people: They are resourceful and have good problem-solving skills. They are more likely to seek help. They hold the belief that they can do something that will help them to manage their feelings and to cope. They have social support available to them. They are connected with others … -Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

now whatAuthenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are. -Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

I am in the next “hour” of ever-widening circles of my Next — the space of my Life clock that remains to be named for its mile markers.

my life clock

my life clock

I am living differently — there are new and marvelous {and daunting} changes in my life right now, both personally and professionally.

Throughout my life there have been hours of “shoulding” but my Must evolved, bills got paid and I learned baby steps count.

There is a continual focus on letting go of who I think I am supposed to be and learning to embrace who I am.

page view from The Bodacious Book of Succulence, by SARK

page view from The Bodacious Book of Succulence, by SARK

There have been hours when I didn’t define my time, when I kept time with The Have-To Clock. And there will be again — Life is an of ever-widening circle of self-compassion and being true to one’s Must.

There are always lessons hiding behind my fears; there are always surprises and experiments — sparkly dares of trial and error. And there are miscommunications when what I {think} I am saying isn’t being said and/or misunderstood.



Writing about work earlier this month was intended to be more clearly communicated regarding how elements of my {living}, productivity and outcomes occur in 80/20 ratios. Perhaps the message was clear as a common thread of my posts … perhaps not.

I have been loosely applying The Pareto Principle, also known as the 80–20 Rule, to facilitate my own acceptance of the often perceived loss of time due to MS and other realities beyond my control.

notice cameraI have been reminding my-self procrastination is not a waste of time. It is my spirit whispering to my brain, “S-l-o-w down and notice this.” … “Get close up and capture its facets.” … “What are the secret messages?”

Venn of LifeBottom Line: statistically 80% of our time consists of the mundane, the insignificant and the adventures of moods and fears BUT we limit our celebration and valuing to the 20% we deem “newsworthy” …

100% of our {living} has value — and deserves to be honored & celebrated, Braveheart.

When we can loosen our expectations about being “productive and clear-minded” 100% of the time {aka perfect, like the people we compare ourselves to}, our stress levels decrease {less over-reacting, over-eating, over-spending, etc.}.

listen to your selfA release of expectations facilitates a dance in-Spirit.

Life is a spiritual dance and our unseen partner has steps to teach us if we will allow ourselves to be led. The next time you are restless, remind yourself it is the universe asking “Shall we dance?” -Julia Cameron

Let’s dance. Let’s hold on loosely. Let’s be at ease, Braveheart. 

Let’s name our Must, release the Shoulds and live free — and wholeheartedly! Let’s embrace our work as that of creating space {time, ease, a setting} each day for the purpose of our own becoming.

Work is the activity of both our “80%” and our “20%” …

ICAD, Week 2

08 61

ICAD Card, Day 8/61

Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events. -Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

I am enjoying the process of compiling quotations and excerpts from the books in my current stack to add to my ICAD 2015 collection! These are the cards from Week 2. This is my fifth summer to participate in the Index-Card-a-Day Challenge, aka ICAD.
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work + enough

message written on her handAs long as we are focused on another, we do not have our own full attention. As long as we are focused obsessively on the outer trappings of someone else’s financial success, we are comparing our insides to their outsides — and that is never far. Jealousy will always block our own prosperity — spiritual as well as financial. -Julia Cameron, The Prosperous Heart

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work + appointments

in processLife is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity. -Gilda Radner

There is much ambiguity currently mingled with my dailies; I am transitioning into new endeavors, releasing and tearing away what is no longer mine to carry and invest. Continue reading