Grief can be triggered by the loss of what we hoped for but then it didn’t happen.
Aside from knowing grief does not have a timeline, or a step-by-step process (a beginning and end; a roadmap to a full recovery), I have realized the form a loss takes varies — and there is also not a standard incubation period for grief.
- The incubation period between [the loss] along with the first symptoms and outcomes to [the loss] varies wildly because we can only handle (identify, process, cope with) varying amounts of suffering (distress, pain, feeling all the feelings).
- Facing facts about the many ways we can experience a loss is itself a form of suffering as “grief confuses us by spinning us around to face backward, because memories are all we have left” (Kathryn Schulz).
It is vital to realize that grief can be triggered by the loss of something intangible (relationships that can never be what we hoped for; the loss of a life-role or the conclusion of a life-stage or career; friends who stopped sharing common interests; and concluding the habit of believing people are different than who they actually are).
Grief is a response to an irreversible loss… To generate grief rather than sadness, the thing lost must carry great emotional weight, and it must pull back the veil that covers a transcendent aspect of the world.
Michael Frame
Braveheart, we cannot always choose our life circumstances, but we can choose how we respond to them.
As tragic as it is that grief is so frequently discussed as we move into year four of our so-called “new normal” — it also feels grounding and empowering and affirming.
- Validating the extended amount of time we need for grieving, and learning about the differences between sadness and grief.
- Realizing it is normal (necessary; essential) to suddenly need to pause everything, and to self-compassionately ask ourselves:
- “What do I need most right now?” — then carefully considering our answer(s) with a deep sense of self-love and gentle intention.
What does all of this have to do with planning?
Chronicling the details of our days is a way of understanding ourselves + mapping our desires. Tracking (and reviewing) our thoughts and routine activities reveals our beliefs and values — and helps us to discover our pace and rhythms.
Showing up for ourselves on the page along with setting aside time and space on a regular basis for both tangible and intangible processing is how we come to identify our desires + get clarity.
- Everything is an opportunity. Everything we have lived and loved, questioned and lost is a part of who we are.
And, Braveheart, there is enough time and space and energy for our dreams and desires, wishes and want-to’s (even when we doubt that enoughness).
Our dreams take time. Without some type of visual chronicle to serve as a “map” — as well as a reminder and directive — the timelines of our desires and experiences become jumbled. What matters most becomes forgotten and ignored.
Right brain planning is more about expression and being present (giving our time and energies to our Now) than planning into the future.
The focus in developing a right brain planning practice is to see your living as ongoing — a timeline [days within years; years within a lifetime] — not productivity.
- To resist the urge to allow a “bad day” or a “bad week” to become a filter — a lens — that limits your ability to hope + live differently.
- The principle goal of Right Brain Planner® resources is to foster a daily journal practice that facilitates self-trust and wholeheartedly-living what matters most.
- Saving yourself from living the same life over and over.
- Easing away from a performance-based valuation of self-worth; cycling like the moon & exploring so-called irregularity as a cycle of wholeness.
Thank you kindly for your presence here, Braveheart.
I appreciate your interest and support.
~love & good wishes~
2024 Right Brain Planner® Kit | field notes | Right Brain Planner® FAQ
2024 Right Brain Planner® Kit [Theme] Kaleidoscope Perspectives ✨ [Focus] — Noticing Beauty (within the kaleidoscope of your living: the ongoing, ever-changing “formations” of color and meaning)
❤️ Braveheart, as the Creator/Artist of Right Brain Planner® I am ever-grateful to have the opportunity to share my creative work online + support other creators since 2008! 🎉 This is possible, in part, by {you} and your presence here. But also because of the support of my Ko-fi patrons and the other other member/subscriber communities I host (via their presence, input and subscriptions).
P.S. I have been devoting more time to writing here about my creative practice. 😊 I hope you will join me here, Braveheart. 🎉