For this month’s series of posts, I am focusing upon baby steps to {a balanced} life: more ease — less stressing about what is not being completed. Allowing ourselves to opportunity to focus upon one element or aspect of our dailies in order to assign it as a piece to the puzzle of wholeness. Of creating a visual for what we “see” but that which feels daunting at times to achieve.

gardening —present participle of gar·den

When I read that simple definition, it is as though my {mental sky} is all a-sparkle with a continual show of fireworks bursting-wide and lighting the darkness. In celebration. And revelation.

My primary focus for this {Month of One} has been:

• combine/streamline {and edit} my daily tasks and projects
• “appreciate” the progress of 15-minute work periods
• the practice of exercising three steps: decide | declare | doing

The one thing for this week is gardening. The simple act of cultivating, of digging in the dirt — sowing and reaping, experiencing stems of bloom and allowing myself space to grow and to bloom. And also to sow tiny seeds of un-doing gardens; to let go of hope-to’s and lay them to rest, to compost and bring renewal. Dust to dust and all that. {pun intended}

The power of imagination makes us infinite. ~John Muir

Seeds of thought.

There has been a paradigm shift in my thinking with regard to gardening. There has been a change in the way I “see” my gardens {literally and figuratively} — in the way I can sit with and accept possibilities {and realities} and outa-the-box thinking with regard to gardening.

I am embracing a new practice; one in which I allow myself to see gardening as it is, big picture stuff — the process as a whole — not simply the Martha-Stewart-snapshot of bloom.

• of sowing seeds into the darkness of faith
• awaiting signs of seedings erupting
• tender sprouts of growth
• a period of growth and change
• … and then, bloom

{stop focusing on the bloom}

The bloom is one of the last stages of a garden. Bloom is followed by the withering and dropping of the flowers … when seeds begin to form. I think this is an excellent visual for how I have felt about my gardens during the past several years: Dropping my head in order for seeds of thoughts to form.

It’s not about the garden.

Until this year, I could not decide to “bury” my gardens; but my indecision revealed and executed a decision. I couldn’t decide because I couldn’t let go of hope {expectation} that I would resume my gardening. Somehow. Some day.

I confused the root issue I was {not} dealing with … it wasn’t gardening. It was my lack of physical strength … My body’s inability to “process” heat {at all} and any type of exertion; and that exposing myself to either causes me to be bedfast. That is what is to be accepted.

Acceptance takes as long as it takes.

But the moment of acceptance cannot be confused with the process of acceptance … that moment-by-moment revelation of what is to be accepted: the root issue.

Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers. ~Rainer Maria Rilke

More tomorrow … ♥

This is the fifth in a series of posts by “my Bravehearts” ♥ … Fierce and free young women of The Yes Tribe. Each of us together form a circle of strength … whispering secret messages as we journey in the direction of our dreams. I invited Cayla to share two of her poems; poems that include wisdom far beyond her years. ~stargardener

Bravesoul

When you’re told that what You’ve done doesn’t help
That You’re meaningless
That they don’t need You
Don’t be discouraged

For You have a reason
A reason here.

A reason why You like blue more than yellow
A reason why You love the sunset

We are all here for a reason
So don’t be discouraged.
For You are brave
You can be who You are meant to be
You can be Free
You’re a Braveheart
Brave-soul

Tell Your Story

Let the world know who “You” are

Be you

Because no one can be you

No one can have your beauty

You have your talents

And your downfalls

But you are you

So be Brave

Be You

You’re a

Braveheart

::: about Cayla …
Cayla (Story) is a 12-year-old artist. She loves to write; and art, for her, is like writing: another way to express her feelings — to tell the world who she is. She wants to be a writer when she grows up. Her poems are from her heart, her brave heart! She loves to read; her favorite color is purple, ’cause it is mysterious, but sweet.  She loves the sunset, and she loves to write!!! ★ Cayla’s blog: storybooknotes.wordpress.com

Lovingly dedicated to my Bravehearts: Gosh, I love you! I continually realize {sit-with, gratefully-reflect} how much your glittery, collaged love {and the title, Fairy Godmother} has healed me in deep and unexpected ways. I am grateful for the pure {undiluted} life you give to me so freely; I am mesmerized by the invisible and yet, sparkly tangible threads that connect us and facilitate the vulnerable and undaunted within our days. ♥

It is a fake holiday. Meaning it {Mother’s Day} was legislated as a day to celebrate instead of an anniversary of an actual event.

It is to be celebrated. Meaning it does represent something that is life-giving, life-changing: in good, bad and ugly ways {gave us life/can strangle}.

It depends …

Upon relationship. And relationships are never nice and tidy.

Upon a zillion details. And the devil is in the details.

The birth of a child designates a birth mother, but sometimes not a mom. Life happens. It is messy. It flings a zillion details at both mothers and children — at each and every stage of living.

We remain in that which we have Grace; we linger in that which we hope-and-pray for Grace … and ultimately … we detach from the {un}Graced. We detach in both tangible and intangible ways — ways that cannot be described with mere letters and syllables … mostly in unseen ways.

Life happens. It is messy.

And yet … no matter what, we remain in need {and want} of mothering relationships. These mothering {nurturing} relationships drift into our one wild and precious life in varied ways, weaving into the fabric of our being for reasons or seasons or a lifetime.

Love remains.

Nurturing relationships serendipitously develop because of proximity, common threads or purpose … or when we find one another in The Dark Place. It is Divine Love {and our willful choice} that gently envelops us in these relationships.

It is this divine, free-flowing love — not our own understanding or facts — that leads us to seek out nurturing relationships. Two are better than one — we know that. We seek our “other” … “others” … those kindred spirits who sit with us quietly or sound the revelry — or whatever else the situation may warrant.

Some people will never learn anything…because they understand everything too soon. ~Alexander Pope

Love shattered.

We thrive on the notions of being loved and accepted, giving love and acceptance — despite the realities of our own understanding and experience of the “broken” loves of our one wild and precious life: When nurturing {in the name of love} becomes control and expectation, when comfort {in the name of love} becomes confining and restrictive, and when the constant lack of reconciliation along the way finally dissolves all but the facts of a relationship.

Mothering self.

Sometimes I believe we seek mothering {without regard to our experience and “understanding” with broken love} because we resist mothering ourselves. We give away our supply of Nurture out our need to be nurtured, held. Accepted.

We resist allowing ourselves to see {our-self} as worthy of:

• unconditional love
• silent solitude
• guidance
• forgiveness
• kindness
• being held
• being cared for …
• protected from bullies

We cannot unconditionally give what we will not receive.

We cannot fairly judge what we do not understand, or have not experienced — first-person.

Thus … it is an unjust circular pattern to assume why mothering gets mucky for any of us … why “bad things happen to good people.” Why someone will not {cannot?} love us in a way we understand … in a way we can translate emotionally, and embrace, utilize and benefit.

Acceptance.

As a woman of years, I have viewed and experienced “motherhood” from countless perspectives: daughter; granddaughter; babysitter; friend; drinkin’ buddy; mentee; mentor … godmother and mother {adoptive and birth, infertile and miscarrying}. And most recently as the winner of the titles of: “Midwife to Artists” and “Fairy Godmother“ …

I have my “adopted” {daughters} and {mothers} who embraced {and continue to embrace, literally and figuratively} me in love. Some for reasons, some merely for seasons … and some for a lifetime.

My whole body grins when memories and promised tomorrows flash through my mind which include the young women who adopted me in their love and kindness. Who unexpectedly {and unconditionally} wrapped their arms around me and loved me as both a friend and a mother {nurturer; warrior-leader}. ♥

My heart sings, loudly and sometimes off-key, when I reflect upon the women who have mothered me in deep, life-changing ways. Women who inspired me with their wholehearted acceptance and care, their honesty and true love.

I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work. ~Pearl S. Buck

Complicated.

With all that love-possibility … Why is this fake holiday so heavily collaged with layers of questions and misunderstandings, and outright suffering?

Mud Pies

Because {making a} life is like a mud pie: Easy to create but difficult to “digest” … Because what we see and what {it} actually is, are two completely different realities.

Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them. ~Marvin J. Ashton

When we compare our one wild and precious life with another person’s one wild and precious life, hers looks like chocolate. But her choices and daily realities may be difficult to digest, and quite possibly tastes like dirt!

Speaking of chocolate …

Sarah Kay: If I should have a daughter …

{Love and prayers to those who need to know they are seen and loved this weekend. BTW, I have chocolate and rainboots!} ox ♥

For this month’s series of posts, I am focusing upon baby steps to {a balanced} life: more ease — less stressing about what is not being completed. Allowing ourselves to opportunity to focus upon one element or aspect of our dailies in order to assign it as a piece to the puzzle of wholeness. Of creating a visual for what we “see” but that which feels daunting at times to achieve.

ex·er·cise/ˈeksərˌsīz/

We accomplish what is in our heart by exercising three steps:

decide

declare

doing

Baby-step-progress tends to annoy us because we aspire to change in one day what took days {months, years} to become what it is today.

When we resist slow and steady progress we are absolutely denying ourselves even the option of change. Because … change takes as long as it takes, Braveheart. And there is no “I’m behind” with change.

Change is transitional.

tran·si·tion/tranˈziSHən/

Physical ills are the taxes laid upon this wretched life; some are taxed higher, and some lower, but all pay something. ~Lord Chesterfield

That progressive process, and the varying time it requires, is especially true with regard to physical wellness and mobility, flexibility and the ability to cope with health challenges.

To maintain the holistic personal space in which I write, consult and create, I weave it within serendipitous micromovements of exercise {mind, body and spirit}.

ser·en·dip·i·ty/ˌserənˈdipitē/

Some days are better than others.

While there is a degree of planning {lists of options for beneficial activity and nutrition} and loosely scheduled intervals in which to accomplish this, I have conceded that it does depend more upon happy coincidences than orchestration.

And at long last, I finally consider being physically required to exercise on some level every single day in order to remain mobile to be a gift: unexpected, but delightful — and certainly of benefit.

Some days being better than others!

Exercise, in my definition, includes elements of sensory stimulation.

I recently started practicing yoga outside. It is so restorative to be outside, even in the extremes of Oklahoma weather … This week, the mornings have been cool and the moon full; there were a few raindrops one morning. The sensory benefits of bird songs and the bubbling of my water fountain and the rustling of leaves as the wind breezes through reduce the “noise” of pain {and the occasional longing to live without MS}.

I think you might dispense with half your doctors if you would only consult Dr. Sun more. ~Henry Ward Beecher

I suppose it was to be expected. A veering off of focus from my One Month Map. But not after two days.

Oh, bother.

My Game Plan!

There are a ton of how-to’s with regard to living a life we love … and loving the life we live. But in very simple terms, we accomplish what is in our heart in three steps:

decide

declare

do it

{repeat}

And baby steps definitely count!

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. ~Ben Stein

If you don’t know what you want to do — determine what you do not want to do! Compile a list: write it on a mirror, doodle it, type it, write it in the comment section below; the possibilities are endless! Truly!

Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment — this day — is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day — each moment of this day — a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity. ~Dan Custer

This moment is indeed as good any moment in all eternity to begin — to cease rehearsing all the reasons we cannot do something — and let go of all the baggage of the past. You know, like when we started something new {or resumed something old} and then got sidetracked. 

And another thing, Braveheart …

We are not behind.

We are precisely within the time frame set by our own one wild and precious life. The clock is ticking, that is true. But we are not behind! Our life certainly can-not “leave” without us!

Life is an obstacle course; and just when we believe we have mastered it … the course layout changes.

But here is the deal:
We have the option of changing, too.

If something is really bothering us … it is a perfect opportunity to stop hyper-focusing on it {in total paralysis} — and to take aim and use it as a target! The mere fact that it is bothering us is evidence {read: a blaring alarm!} that change is needed. So let’s decide to be in charge of change instead of listening to that dang alarm all the time!

This is my target practice list for this month:

1. work on updating my blog 30-minutes/one day a week
• create new blog badges
• update my post categories
• update pages w/visuals
2. organizing {purging!} my studio
• file cabinet {5-minutes/day}
• storage closet {5-minutes/day}
3. garden-management {ungardening}
• patio garden area {10-minutes/day}
• weeding {10-minutes/day}
• supervise the un-gardening {reduction} of my gardens
4. creative planning updates {20-minutes/4 times/week minimum}
• reading {journaling notes/mind-mapping}
• this is like breathing for me … short session minimums are typically exceeded
5. watercolor experiments and practice/sketching {15-minutes/3 times/week minimum}
6. make a hula hoop … more about that tomorrow! UPDATE — {it isn’t to be; too strenuous for MS to handle …}

 [She] only earns [her] freedom and existence who daily conquers them anew. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

In preparation for @MichaelNobbs, One Thing a Day Habit, I have set up a draft-editorial calendar for blog posts for this week {and the next 21 days} to facilitate progress and a creative journal record {art journaling} for a theme of One. And the habit of working “little and often” on a creative project goes well with Leah Piken Kolidas’ choice of “One” as the theme for May’s Creative Every Day.

Art journaling is simply the practice of creatively commemorating daily discoveries. One of the ways I will accomplish this record for this {Month of One} will be to create a photographic collage image for each day, while making it my intention to:

1. simplify my daily task-list and expectations for projects
2. combine/streamline {and edit} my daily tasks and projects
3. “appreciate” the progress of 15-minute work periods
4. take notice of what is accomplished each day

A creative record of these intentions allows me to both artistically note and reflect upon these “baby steps” of progress.

• A great resource for those just getting started in art journaling: WhAt iF? YOU are The Art Journaler {a free ebook that explores ten “what-ifs” that may be keeping you from becoming the art journaler}.

When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

This is the fourth in a series of posts by “my Bravehearts” ♥ … Fierce and free young women of The Yes Tribe. Each of us together form a circle of strength … whispering secret messages as we journey in the direction of our dreams. I invited Manda to share images from her art journal and a bit about what prompted her to begin art journaling. ~stargardener

What prompted Art Journaling? A burning desire to create was rippling under my skin… Art was a sign of freedom to me. Yet, I had walls and hesitations built up that I wouldn’t do it “right” or that I wasn’t creative “enough.”

Stop Pretending!

Accusations pierced me at every turn. When I was seeking God’s direction for the coming year, the word He spoke over me was CREATE.  I trembled at the thought. But God is gracious in that He wove together with a group of women ~ The ‘Say YES’ Tribe.  It was their bravery and encouragement to embrace free expression that prompted the journey into Art Journaling.

Presence TRUMPS Advice...

The desire had been there for over a year, but I hadn’t started … because of fear. As 2012 has rolled into it’s 5th month… I’m finding more freedom, healing, and grace within the pages of my sacred space.  I cannot thank my Warrioress Women enough… They are priceless jewels to me!

::: about Manda …
She has a lot running through her heart & mind… it keeps her busy (and exhausted, at times) but she also embraces the lovely beauty of the depths; and believes you can’t be too scared to go there… to be a heart examiner. She is learning, and it is quite the journey… As she twirls in thought and processes life as it comes…

✩ follow her discoveries on Twitter {and Instagram @mandamichelle} as she partakes of the reveal.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote is referring to the alternate definition we have come to know as perfection. The one that screams that mistakes are useless, and that “experiments” {trial and error} are of no value as we advance in the direction of our dreams {completeness}.

Experiments …

Vision and anticipation. And fear. Perfection and action. And inaction. Zeal and hesitation. And paralysis. We wrestle with the concept of “Just do it!” Actually we have more of a love-hate relationship with it; the love {or hate} being more than merely a surface emotion …

more like a rudder of the soul.

Steered by perfection.

Perfection in the broad sense of the word, as in completeness. Citing Wikipedia: “The oldest definition of ‘perfection’, fairly precise and distinguishing the shades of the concept, goes back to Aristotle. … he distinguishes three meanings of the term, or rather three shades of one meaning, but in any case three different concepts.

1. which is complete — which contains all the requisite parts;
2. which is so good that nothing of the kind could be better;
3. which has attained its purpose.

Perfection in purpose

is mapped by the heart.

And the route is mapped as we embrace the vision and anticipation. And fear. Perfection and action. And inaction. Zeal and hesitation. And paralysis.

Because {it} all is a part of

The Process.

In every man’s mind, some images, words, and facts remain, without effort on his part to imprint them, which others forget, and afterwards these illustrate to him important laws. All our progress is an unfolding, like the vegetable bud. You have first an instinct, then an opinion, then a knowledge, as the plant has root, bud, and fruit. Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason. It is vain to hurry it. By trusting it to the end, it shall ripen into truth, and you shall know why you believe. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson